Reach Out

          I was watching this thing on the news the other day about a homeless shelter being built. The city had a vacant building and was thinking about turning it into a shelter since a church group had volunteered to fund the cleaning up of the building. In this city the homeless population had almost doubled and they had nowhere to go. Across the street there was a small market and the owner got on the news and stated that she hoped it didn't happen because it would scare her customers. She proceeded to say that most of them, her customers, were women and children and that she didn't want them stepping over cigarette butts and broken bottles. I sat for a moment somewhat in disbelief. I couldn't believe that someone let this woman on TV and that she had just really said that. Why is someone going through a tough time automatically a drunk. Does she really think that all the homeless people in the shelter are just going to sit outside drinking 40's and throwing bottles. I have never had to stay in a shelter but I am pretty sure that isn't how it works. The thing that makes me sad is so many people that are homeless right now just need a little help. They need a chance to rebuild and get a little support. Wouldn't that woman want some help if she had no place to go, nobody to turn to, no food to eat. We should be willing to treat each other the same way we would want to be treated in the situation. Reach your hand out to help someone because if you are ever in a place reaching out for help don't you hope someone is reaching back?

My Choice

          So lets jump into the fire with both feet. Lets talk abortion. I have been watching the coverage of the primaries and it keeps coming up so, lets go for it. Let me be clear I am pro-choice. I believe that my body and what happens with it is my decision. I have felt this way as long as I could understand what it was. I was raised Catholic and still believe in the religious aspect of it. I always say I am a non practicing catholic who believes in the faith end just not the application of the religion in our society. I know some of you are scratching your head...how can I be catholic and believe in abortion. Well lets start here...I do not believe in abortion, I believe in choice. And because I have a spiritual belief does not mean I am not allowed to form my own views on today's issues. Religion is there to guide us not dictate us.
          I often hear people say that I am essentially condoning killing. Wow, that is a statement. I disagree. I have heard it all...."something dead doesn't grow". So my answer is that if that fetus was removed from me it would not live nor grow. It is essentially at that point a part of me that requires me to live. I also believe that no one has any right to stand and tell me what I can and cannot do in terms of my health. Nor do they have a right to judge me. It is essentially between me and God. I see people with their kids holding signs with aborted fetus on them. Can anyone else see the irony in that? Often someone making a good choice for their life, is ridiculed, yelled at, told they are going to burn in hell. When if they had that child and they were not ready for it financially, mentally, and in terms of maturity, something far worse could happen. I have no way to know how someone else feels, what their situation is. I try to be empathetic and compassionate but in the end the only person who knows what is going to work or their life is them.
          I am not a believer in late term abortions. Okay, make a decision and be responsible. I also am not a fan of people using this as a form of birth control. A condom is a lot cheaper than an abortion. I think places like Planned Parenthood are so important because they offer not just abortions but because they educate women. They provide health care, they provide birth control, they provide choice. I know this is a really tough issue and like me, people feel very strongly but I think the bottom line is that I need to maintain control of my own body and my own rights. Women not so long ago fought very hard to provide women today with all the rights we have. I slowly see several of those rights being challenged and it bothers me. For me it starts on the topic of abortion. This is my condensed down argument but it is such a huge varied topic that I am sure I will revisit at some point. Just be aware and whether you agree or not I think we can all agree that as human beings we should be able to calmly and rationally discuss topics like this, otherwise we are never going to get anywhere.

Ranting Doesn't Make You Right

          I found myself today thinking about the different way we debate topics or issues with one another. I mean it is an election year.I am someone who loves to debate. I love to hear people disagree with me and why. I do not often change my mind but I often learn something. I have found however that the older I get the more I realize that passion for a topic does not equate anger. When I was younger, I would sit and argue with my grandmother, yes argue not debate. We would disagree but I always felt like if I got louder, angrier, more impassioned it would somehow change her mind. I know know now how untrue that it. There is that statement, you will catch more bees or flies or something with honey. I think it is so true. Hostility and anger are not going to make someone suddenly snap to attention and see the light. They are not going to magically agree with you.
          I also have to say that I think when you are ruled by anger when debating or talking, you lose some credibility. When someone is talking with you and maybe stating a different point of view you will listen. You may disagree but you will listen. When someone is angry, ranting, and someone dismissive of your ideals, you stop listening. I find myself instead thinking, "wow she is so angry....shut up....stop ranting". They no longer are credible to me me. I don't want to waste my time talking with someone so enraged because they are essentially speaking out of anger and not going to hear me at all. 
          I am somewhat of a pacifist and I believe so much of the worlds issues could be handled with talking instead of shooting or bombing. The key word there is talking. We should be able to talk with one another and debate without hostility and anger taking over. No single person is right and no single person is wrong. Maintain an open mind and be willing to listen as much you are willing to talk. You never know what you may hear and the effect it may have on you and you opinion.

Smile!!

          So this is a little different. I have been sick for the past week and I am somewhat of  a germaphobe. I got a cold/ virus from my nephew and those kid germs just seem to hang on forever especially if you are not used to being around kids. I absolutely hate hate being sick with anything so I of course am googling to find anything I can about getting over a cold or virus quickly. I stumbled across the usual stuff and I have issues with normal medicine so I always end up looking for all natural alternatives. Something I found that surprised me was that your mood and having a positive attitude can great help your overall health.

          I have always been a really positive person to the point that people would make fun of me. I always want to see the best in people and expect the best. I never would have thought however that my mood could so drastically change my health. I started thinking about it though and it makes a lot of sense. If you are down, feeling like I am going to be sick for 2 weeks, the chances are that you will subconciencely feel bad for 2 weeks. I always expect a cold to last for at least four to five days so in a way I am setting myself up to be sick for those four to five days regardless. Whereas if I keep it in perspective and remind myself that there are people out there really sick and I have a cold. And I remind myself that I am taking vitamins and will feel better as those take effect, and do something that makes me happy, even if it is watching a movie I love, I feel better....maybe not physically but my mood changes which leads to me feeling better about the situation. Just thought this was interesting and really can be applied to something as simple as a cold or as horrible as a more serious illness. So smile....be happy....be positive....keep things in perspective!

Gay Marriage is Bad.....Ummm NO!

          So this is obviously a little more heavy than Facebook but I just got through watching something on the news about gay marriage and I got to thinking. I am going to be perfectly honest in saying I just do not understand peoples issue with gay marriage. I truly do not understand. We as an American society treat marriage like it is garbage. Getting married is not the same as it used to be and being married does not mean what it used to. Divorce is so commonplace now that it is difficult to find someone not divorced. I was raised catholic (that is a topic for another day) and I understand know that my religion as well as most others do not approve of gay marriage but give me a reason. The only thing I have heard is "it says it in the bible". Okay, religion is a huge hot button with me and I am sure in the coming posts you will come to see that. I will discourage myself from taking that route now but there are several things in the bible that we obvious;y would not apply to today. We do not go out and stone whores for example. You have to be able to adapt and adjust. Use some common sense. And let us be perfectly honest, isn't the entire premise of the bible treating all as you would want to be treated. Love and acceptance for all. I must have missed the part where it said love and forgive everyone except the gay people. Those you can judge. We throw marriage away with last nights leftovers and we have people fighting so so hard to just have some rights....medical, financial....I mean does it even matter why? I have yet to hear why this is so detrimental to our society. Then we have a candidate running for the presidency stating that being gay is next to bestiality. Wow, this person wants to run our country and makes that kind of statement and to be honest, what floored me was that we were not up in arms. We cannot take something that we treat so poorly and talk as though it is so cherished. That isn't how it works. Love people, learn to accept them for who they are. Everyone has something to teach us. If someone loves another person enough to go through all the fight we are putting up, all the ridicule, all the obstacles, who are we to tell them they do not get the same choices we do. I am a firm believer that it is not a choice who we love....what sex, what race, what height, what weight, and so on. Sounds really familiar to me like times from not to long ago when people were judged and treated differently based on something out of their control. Use compassion. Use common sense. Treat the person next to you, no matter their sexual orientation as you would want to be treated. Why should two women making a medical choice have any less rights than a man and a woman. Their love is different?? How? We have so many things that are negative and hard in the world right now. Tough choices and obstacles are placed in front of us as Americans daily. Lets not create more problems that in all honesty are not problems.

Why I Hate Facebook

          Okay so for the first thing I write about I have to talk about social media. I get into these conversations all the time with people about Facebook. I recently had a conversation/argument with my significant other about it. I am not a fan. Never really have been. I set up an account awhile back because everyone is telling me, "You have to get on Facebook. It is so awesome but so addictive." I quickly realized I must not have gotten the memo. I got these requests from people who I didn't know and from people who I hadn't seen in over 15 years. I found the whole thing somewhat strange. If you are my friend, why do I need this medium to stay in touch with you or to update you on my life.
          Let me start here. I am someone who enjoys face to face conversation. I need to look someone in the eye. I believe that interaction with people on a personal level is important. After having this account for a few days and really felt somewhat odd about the whole thing. I didn't want someone I met at a party looking at pictures of me and my family and I did not want to know that someone I hadn't talked since 8th grade was heading to dinner at Applebees with her husband. Not to be rude but I found myself saying, "Do you want a reward or something?".  Why do I need to know you are at the grocery store and see a picture of the funny sign you drove by. It was all so detached and impersonal to me. And really.....who cares...who is that important that I need a play by play of their day.
          I also really do believe that people come into and exit our lives for a reason. We are not supposed to stay stagnant in life. It is a progression. We learn things from people...some make the cut, some do not....we go on separate paths and if a friendship or relationship is strong enough to endure that it does. It is not something that should be forced. If I do not consider you close enough to keep in contact with normally, even email, why would I call you my "friend" and give you this insight into my daily life or show you pictures of it. It is truly odd.
          Lastly I have to point out the irony of some people on Facebook. I know someone who was saving to go on a trip to New York. She finally got the money together and her and a friend finally went.  Instead of actually being present in the moment, she is there with her friend typing on her phone to post on facebook that she was sitting with a friend at a bar in New York. She is putting up picture after picture showing her and her friend in the background typing away. Okay, where do I start....be in the moment. How are you enjoying being there with your friend present in that moment when you are on your phone typing to people who are probably people you wouldn't ever really call a friend. How many of these so called friends would be there for you in an actual time of crisis? Why do you need to tell everyone everything you are doing on any given day? The last thing I want to do when I am having fun is stop to tell my phone to tell everyone I am having fun. I want to experience the moment not write about what the experience is like. Then aren't you kinda missing the experience? Interact with a human not a machine.
          I know I drive my boyfriend crazy because he, like so many are addicted to it. I just do not get it. I just want people to go live life instead of writing about living life or putting picture of what they want to do instead of doing it. It is just silly and a waste of time to me. I didn't even get into the whole reconnecting with exes aspect. I will save that for another day. Bottom line, if you use it to keep in touch with family or something....okay....although I really would think that my brother could take the time to send me pics through email not in a bulk advertised to family as well as his work buddies and some guy he met once at a party. If you are important in my life, you will know what is happening with me and we will not have lost touch. We will talk and I will be involved with you and your life as much as you are with mine. There are those exceptions and I get that. I know an 85 year old who loves facebook and regularly uses it for family but I know a lot more people who just use it for nonsense nobody really needs to or wants to know. Go out....do something...spend time with someone and just for a change do not alter the experience by breaking down into a play by play to share with the world. Just go live.

What is Going On??

          I thought I would start by writing a short post about what I am about and want to write about. I am a thirty something and within the last 5 years, my life has changed drastically. I never really had any interest in computers until I began dating someone who was all about computers. Slowly I gained an interest and found I could learn rather quickly. I have recently come to learn quite a bit and I often read blogs as part of my work. After reading thousands, I decided I would start my own. I have no idea if anyone will read it but I think if nothing else, writing is always good therapy and I need that.
          Often people say to me, " I never thought of it that way". I love to talk to people who are very different from me in their belief system, religion, political views, everything. I feel it is the only way we learn and even if we disagree, I usually walk away learning something. In the same breath however, I have no shortage of opinions. They may be wrong, may be right, you may agree, you may disagree but hopefully, it will start a conversation or get you thinking about something in a new way.  I think we have as a society lost quite a bit of our common sense and I often stop and wonder what is going on. I intend to write about some of those things as well as whatever pops in my head on any given day. Nothing is meant to offend anyone....just my opinion. I enjoy talking about heavy things such as war and religion but can get just as fired up about a television show or something my friend said to me. Hopefully I will help someone to open their mind to a different viewpoint. Thanks for reading.